For a whole day, my husband and I said ‘yes’ to all of our kids’ demands

It wouldn’t always be easy, but it would be worth it in the long run, when they were sensible, well-adjusted adults who knew they just couldn’t get what they wanted all of the time, straight away. 

But to be honest, most of the time it feels like my husband Tom and I are just killjoys, spoiling their fun and not letting them do anything they want. Even when I know it’s the right thing to do – like when Immy refuses to brush her teeth before bed or Theo is pleading for yet another chocolate bar – it’s pretty painstaking. 

This is probably why, when we had an unintentional ‘yes day’ a couple of weeks ago, it felt so good for all of us.

It didn’t start out that way. It was actually going to be a pretty boring day for the kids to begin with.

After four and half years with the same old phones, Tom and I realised we both needed new ones. Tom was doing online research, comparing cameras, memory and storage. I just wanted something that didn’t need a full 12 hours to charge, like my old one did. 

The weather was looking iffy (we live in Newcastle; this is the constant state of play), so we decided to go to the Metrocentre (a huge shopping centre not too far from us) and take the kids’ Easter money from their grandparents, sweeten them up with a new toy before we got embroiled in the agonising process of deciding on a new mobile deal.

It just felt so nice to say ‘yes’ for a change

But when we arrived the first stop was the stationary shop. As they’d somehow used 60 pieces of paper in less than two weeks, drawing pictures for anyone they’d ever laid eyes on, we went to replenish stocks. 

‘Can we get these?’ Theo asked, pointing to some small wooden ducks. I like to encourage arts and crafts and we’d played with similar ones in lockdown, so I nodded. ‘They look fun,’ I smiled. ‘Why not?’

And as I looked along the aisle, there were some similar flowers and fences. ‘Should we make a spring garden at home?’ I suggested, inspired. ‘Yeah!’ the children cheered.

As we drifted further into the shop, Theo saw a superhero book, one that despite our overflowing bookcases, we didn’t have. As he flipped excitedly through the pages, Tom and I looked at each other. It was only £2…

‘Would you like to buy that one?’ Tom asked. Theo’s eyes widened. ‘Can I still get my toy?’ he checked, the clever boy he is. Laughing, we nodded.

‘You too, Immy, you pick one,’ I urged.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like our children never receive treats. We go to the library for ‘new’ books every week, we’ll often let them pick up a magazine from the supermarket and we have a ‘golden box’ in the top kitchen cupboard, filled with Haribo and Freddos.

But we rarely take them to the shops. It’s just too boring for them – usually.

Today, however, was different. After we’d finished in the stationary shop – spending a grand total of £13, but still laden with items – we headed to the toy store.

‘Now you have £15 each from your grandparents,’ we explained to them. ‘So you can choose whatever you want, up to that amount.’

It took a lot of deciding but they ended up with a Sonic toy each – £11 – and Theo chose a £5 dinosaur.

And it was a good job they did, because the next stop was the mobile phone shop, which took us an agonising 45 minutes to get sorted.

But they played with their toys so well, we let them decide what to have for lunch – although we needn’t have asked. They’d live off pizza if they had their way. So we took them for a margherita and, as the children’s meal came with ice cream, we let them share a scoop without putting up our usual resistance.

And do you know what? It just felt so nice to say ‘yes’ for a change. To be the good guys. To not have to explain why we’re rushing straight past the toy aisle or why sugar is bad for your teeth and your tummy.  

There was none of the usual tears and hushed conversations through gritted teeth that if they didn’t start behaving, we’d have to take their toys back to the shop and go home straight away. It was a real relief to just spend time together – and let them have a little fun.

I wanted to carry on the magic for a bit longer

In fact, it felt so good, we took Theo – who has recently started our local park run – for a new pair of trainers and then we stopped off at H&M, where we let them pick a T-shirt each. They both went for their latest favourite, with changing colour sequins on the front.

‘Can we go on the train?’ Theo said hopefully, as he spied it pulling in. It’s an actual train that goes around one section of the mall, to keep the children entertained. Usually, at £3 each for a 10 minute pootle up and down one of the quadrants of the mall, we’d never say yes. But today… ‘Go on then,’ we allowed.

It felt like the rules didn’t apply today and saying ‘yes’, and watching the children’s reactions earlier, had been infectious. I wanted to carry on the magic for a bit longer. 

And it was totally worth it to see their little beaming faces as they waved at other families they passed and pretended they were on Thomas the Tank Engine.

Going back home that afternoon, as the children took their new things up to their bedrooms, I collapsed on the sofa, listening to their squeals as they ‘introduced’ Sonic and Tails to their other toys. It was such a delight that, with a few more ‘yeses’ we’d all had such a good day. 

Like Christmas, I know every day can’t be like that. I want our children to know that treats are just that – treats – and should be one-offs, rather than the norm. ‘Yes days’ would lose their magic if they happened too often. 

But in that moment, I really wished it could. Sometimes the rules just need to be broken – by parents and children alike. And who knows, we may have more ‘yes days’ in the future and break a few more rules.