If you’re going on multiple dates a week, it can often feel like you’re just going through the motions.
You match, you talk for a few days, you meet up for drinks, you go home – disappointed that this date was no different from the last.
You’re soon back swiping, and the cycle of dating doom prevails.
Dating has become joyless for many, as the enthusiasm of a keen dater is slowly drained away, leaving you bored at best and, at worst, apathetic to the point of wanting to give up.
And now, that feeling has been dubbed dating rust-out.
Rust-out was first coined as a workplace trend, used to describe a type of boredom, where an employee becomes disinterested and disengaged due to a lack of meaningful work.
Now, journalist Lizzie Price is applying that same feeling to our dating lives too.
Relationship therapist, Dipti Tait says that rust-out is burnout’s less intense, but equally as negative cousin.
‘These feelings can have a significant impact on people looking for love, as they may become disheartened or disengaged from the dating process altogether,’ Dipti tells Metro.co.uk.
‘They may feel like they are just going through the motions or that they are stuck in a cycle of unfulfilling relationships.’
This, of course, will have a knock on effect on the whole dating pool: the more people dealing with dating-related rust out, the more that apathy will spread, until eventually, everyone is half-heartedly planning the same old date and rolling their eyes at every new message on a dating app.
According to Dipti, there can be many causes for dating rust out, ‘including a lack of shared interests or goals, a loss of excitement or novelty, or a sense of feeling stuck in a routine.’
Having seemingly endless options in the dating scene can also contribute to a sense of disillusionment and disconnection, she adds.
So what’s the solution?
According to Dipti, there are two options: try something new, or take a break.
‘To move past feelings of boredom and apathy in dating, it can be helpful to try new things together, explore shared interests or hobbies, and communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and needs,’ she says.
Why not suggest something different, like a gym date or craft day or even a theme park?
But if that doesn’t work, it might be time to focus on yourself for a while.
‘Taking a break from dating and focusing on self-care and personal growth can help to reinvigorate your energy and motivation for seeking out meaningful connections,’ says Dipti.
And, maybe, you simply need to take the pressure off – if dating isn’t giving you what you want right now, why not just take it for what it is: a fun way to try good food, meet new people and explore your city.
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