My husband has become abusive when he drinks – I’ve had enough

DEAR DEIDRE: WHILE I was stranded in Tenerife during lockdown, my husband lived on drink.

He is now a cruel alcoholic.

He’s 52 and I’ve grown to despise him. I’m 48.

My sister lives alone. I went to visit her after she had a hysterectomy. It was an open-ended stay but when the pandemic hit, I left it too late to get a flight home.

My husband has always liked booze but I could see from our contact on FaceTime that he was drinking more – two bottles of whisky a day, it turns out.

He thinks it’s funny. I don’t.

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He has lost his job plus he swears and accuses me of cheating, among other things.

It’s my name on the tenancy so I could throw him out but I’m not that cruel. But I can’t go on like this.

DEIDRE SAYS:  I’m not surprised.

Drinking to that extent can seriously damage his health. It’s a wonder he’s still functioning.

When he is sober, tell him you are worried for his life and health. Encourage him to see his doctor.

If he won’t make an appointment, then there’s little you can do. I’m sorry but as with all addicts, he has to want to make the change. You can’t force him.

His accusations are nasty and unfounded.

You don’t deserve that. If you don’t want to throw him out, avoid him at all costs when he’s drinking.

You can find help through my Abusive Partner and Dealing With A Problem Drinker support packs.

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