Miriam Margolyes was a big fan of the Queen – but says it wasn’t mutual

National treasure Miriam Margolyes, 81, on her foul mouth, her love for Queen Elizabeth and the time she drank 17 sherries.

You look tanned, have you been away?

Las Vegas. It’s the last stop in Miriam And Alan: Lost In Scotland, which is series two of the TV show I did with Alan Cumming.

And the first series has just been nominated for a Scottish Bafta, so we’re very excited.

Now you’re doing a podcast, Acting For Others Presents…

I’ve done quite a few podcasts but do you know this very weird thing called TikTok? You know Cameo, where you earn money for saying ‘happy birthday’ to someone?

Well, people have been putting my Cameo on this TikTok website and it’s made me very popular. Sometimes I’m rude and swear and say ‘c***’ and ‘f***’ and ‘up your a***hole’ and people like it.

Where did this foul mouth come from?

I have always had that. I didn’t swear at home because my parents wouldn’t have liked it but I swear in public because it’s fun.

It’s not very ladylike, Miriam.

It isn’t. But I’m not very ladylike. I’ve got a ladylike voice and I think it’s the contrast of saying ‘c***face’ in a very sweet voice that engages people. Anyway, I’ve made a lot of money out of it so I’m perfectly happy with that.

On top of your Harry Potter millions?

I never made Harry Potter millions. I think the three or four main people did and they deserve it but my character didn’t.

I was only in two and I only got £60,000 for being Professor Sprout but I’m not grumbling.

Now. I grumbled then but it made me very famous.

Especially with children…

But I don’t like children very much. 
If they can talk, I can cope. I don’t like babies. Nobody likes screaming babies. 
I don’t have children but I like talking to intelligent kids but if they’re just silly…

Your episode of the podcast is with Derek Jacobi…

I love Derek and it was a great honour to speak with him. He was at Cambridge slightly before me and he’s my sort of guy.

He’s gay, he’s a brilliant actor, stunning, a stratospheric range and a great sweetness.

There’s a vulnerability and an honesty about him and he’s quite shy. I acted with him in Little Dorrit. Sometimes I think he might disapprove of me because I’m rather over the top but I love him.

These are all conversations between actors. Do actors generally get on?

Actors love each other. We’re called ‘luvvies’ by ignorant c***s as a term of abuse but actually actors genuinely love each other and enjoy being together.

It’s strange that you’ve started this intrepid, travelling around the world doing documentaries later in life.

I know. It just happened but I said, ‘I must have a camper van because if I need to go to the toilet, I can’t hang on to my pee’. I can p*** myself easily because I have a very poor pelvic floor.

Do you feel you have more freedom as you get older?

As you get older, you do give yourself more leeway to behave as you feel. So I’m often a bit naughty.

Were you a fan of anyone when you were younger?

The Queen! I was a huge fan. My den at home was covered with pictures. Then I met her and she didn’t like me, so…

Because you were swearing?

No, because I was silly. It’s in my book, This Much Is True. It’s been two months at the top of the bestseller list.

Is that why you’re jetting about, to avoid the taxman?

I pay my taxes. People who don’t are disgraceful. I don’t like disloyalty or betrayal or hiding money and I don’t like drugs.

So, you’ve never been drunk on champagne?

No, I like champagne but I once went to a drinks party in Cambridge and had 17 sherries. I was violently sick for four hours.

Have we covered everything?

Shouldn’t I say something about the charity? Acting For Others. Laurence Olivier set it up and it’s to help people who are falling on hard times in the theatre. It’s a wonderful charity.

The Acting For Others Presents… podcast with everyone from Dame Judi Dench to David Tennant is available now

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