A polyamorous relationship is when people have a romantic relationship with more than one person at a time. On the parenting forum Mumsnet, a woman, who wished to remain anonymous, explained that she is in a polyamorous relationship with two men, and other mums were both shocked and “fascinated” by her story.
The woman and her two partners, who are all in their late 30s, met through work when they were in their 20s, and have two children.
The woman said that the relationship is “exclusively the three of us, no interest in anyone else”. She explained: “We all live together, though there is a separate flat that we use when any of us are working nights, so as to be respectful to each other’s sleep needs.”
She said the two men do “tremendous amounts of housework” each, such as food shopping or running errands.
The woman revealed that they all sleep together “in a big bed made up of a double and single bed”.
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“They don’t mind sleeping in the same bed, as I’m in the middle. No different to sleeping round your mates really,” she said.
When asked if she has a favourite, the mother-of-two explained that she doesn’t as “they are both wonderful chaps in their own way, both have similarities but are also very unique”.
The woman said that she is actually married to one of them, and she had been for many years.
Although she “would love to marry both of them”, it would “get difficult legally on many levels”, so they decided to “settle for long-term commitment instead”.
She technically has a husband and a boyfriend, as many forum users pointed out, but she had her children, who are 10 and 14, with her husband.
The woman explained that the third partner joined them two years ago after a very strong friendship grew into something “pretty special”.
The children call the third partner by his name, though they “jokingly refer to him as daddy number two”.
For the intimate part of the relationship, she said that is kept “very much behind closed doors, as it would be with any other relationship, typical, traditional or otherwise”.
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In terms of bills, the woman revealed that they split everything in three: “The third pays a third into our joint account for mortgage, bills and food, same as us other two do.”
Another woman with the username @kewlwife, also in a polyamorous relationship, shared her experience and said that she has been with two men since university and has two children with them.
The forum user explained that she has a “nesting partner” whom she lives with, but she is currently seeing someone else.
Her partner also has a girlfriend he has been with for years and is also married to another woman.
The Mumsnet user admitted that she tells other school mums and friends as it is not “obvious” to people that they are all together.
Although people “rarely judge us negatively”, some women are envious of “how we share childcare duties to give each other space to have hobbies and adult time,” she explained.
“The people who have judged are usually women who ultimately feel threatened by the fact that having a partner doesn’t render me automatically unavailable to theirs,” the woman claimed.
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