How lame-duck Dave Gettleman could have rebuilt Giants with do-over

The Giants would not be resembling an expansion team had they nailed the draft over the past four years. No general manager, of course, gets every pick right. They all make mistakes.

But imagine if outgoing GM Dave Gettleman could hop in a time machine and go Back to the Future and knew then what he knows now.

We can call him Dave Increttleman.

So please indulge the fantasy, Giants fans, if you possibly can:

2018 NFL Draft

Round 1

Roger Goodell: With the second pick, the New York Giants select … QB Josh Allen, Wyoming.
2020 Pro-Bowler; 34 passing TDs, 6 rushing TDs, 15 INTs this season.

Media: Josh had accuracy issues at Wyoming. Why him over Sam Darnold or Josh Rosen.

Increttleman: Eli can still make all the throws, but this kid has been touched by the hand of God.

Media: Many in your organization reportedly liked Saquon Barkley.

Increttleman: You guys wanted me to take a running back with the second pick (laugh)? My analytics people would never have talked to me again.

Media: When do you think Josh will get on the field?

Increttleman: Who knows? Maybe we’ll be the Green Bay model where Rodgers sat for three years. Pat (Shurmur) and Mike (Shula) will develop him and we’ll see.

Round 2

RB Nick Chubb, Georgia
3-time Pro-Bowler; 1,201 yards, 8 TDs rushing this season

Increttleman: I haven’t seen a guy like this in a long time, and I’ve been running around doing this for 30-plus years. This kid makes our quarterback better, he makes our wide receivers better, he makes our O-line better, he makes our defense better.

Media: What about fixing the offensive line? Will Hernandez was still on the board.

Increttleman: The value was too rich on Chubb. And, oh by the way, we have two picks in the third round, kids.

Round 3

3a: LB Fred Warner, BYU
Jets HC Robert Saleh called him “by far the best middle linebacker in football” as 49ers DC. Highest-paid too ($95M for five years). More than 100 tackles in each of his four seasons.

Media: Lorenzo Carter has pass-rush promise, and this franchise has always coveted pass rushers.

Increttleman: You don’t have to have a blue goose pass rusher to affect the quarterback.

3b: T Orlando Brown Jr., Oklahoma
Three-time Pro Bowler.

Increttleman: Got me a Hog Mollie (6-8, 344 pounds). I’m surprised Eli hasn’t texted me yet (laugh).

Media: Sources had you interested in DE B.J. Hill.

Increttleman: You didn’t get that from Ernesto, did you (laugh)?

Round 4

DE Josh Sweat, Florida State
Has registered 13.5 sacks the last two years.

Increttleman: You wanted a pass rusher. OK?

Media: Why not a quarterback you could groom like Kyle Lauletta?

Increttleman: We have too many holes to use a fourth-rounder on a developmental quarterback behind Eli and Josh.

2019 NFL Draft

Goodell: With the sixth pick, the New York Giants select … edge Josh Allen, Kentucky.
Recorded 10.5 sacks as a rookie.

Increttleman: Two Josh Allens are better than one (smile), right, kids? If he isn’t a Gold Jacket Guy, he’s awful close.”

Goodell: With the 17th pick, the New York Giants select … safety Darnell Savage Jr., Maryland
188 tackles, 8 INTs and 26 PDs to date.

Increttleman: Who doesn’t want a fast, versatile, explosive safety? He’ll be a nice complement to Jabrill (Peppers).

Media: You passed on DT Dexter Lawrence. Don’t, in your words, big men allow you to compete?

Increttleman: (laugh) Sure they do. But I like what we’ve done during what I call the roster-building season.

Media: This was one of the picks you acquired from the Browns for Odell.

Increttleman: We didn’t sign him to trade him.

Media: We know. But were there any receivers who were in the conversation?

Increttleman: I’m not packing up and heading to Cape Cod tonight, kids.

Goodell: With the 30th pick, the New York Giants select … wide receiver Deebo Samuel, South Carolina.
73-1,310-6 TDs receiving and 51-320-7TDs rushing this season.

Increttleman: Looks like Tahzan, plays like Tahzan. This kid is a running back with the ball in his hands. Returns kicks and punts, so the value is off the chahts.

Media: You traded a fourth and fifth to move up seven spots.

Increttleman: “We liked one of the corners better, but you can’t draft for need.”

Media: Were there red flags with DeAndre Baker?

Increttleman: Not for us, no.

Round 3

DE Maxx Crosby, Eastern Michigan
23 career sacks, 2021 Pro Bowler

Increttleman: “A long, lean pass rusher.”

Media: What about the kid from Old Dominion?

Increttleman: X-Man (Oshane Ximines)? We had Oshane at the bottom of our second round. He was a consideration, yes.

Media: So for Odell, you got Jabrill Peppers, Savage and Crosby.

Increttleman: We’re thrilled. The juice was worth the squeeze.

2020 NFL Draft

Goodell: “With the fourth pick, the New York Giants select … Tackle Tristan Wirfs, Iowa
Allowed one sack as rookie, 2021 Pro Bowler.

Media: Andrew Thomas was a three-year starter in the SEC. Was he in the mix?

Increttleman: Different flavors at offensive tackle. An athletic power broker for Josh and Nick.

Round 2

Safety Xavier McKinney, Alabama

Media: Were you surprised he was still on the board?

Increttleman: We had a first-round grade on him. The kid’s a natural playmaker. Pat Graham was doing cahtwheels. This gives Joe (Judge) and Pat three young safeties.

2021 NFL draft

Goodell: With the 11th pick, the New York Giants select …. Tackle Rashawn Slater, Northwestern
Pro Bowler. PFF’s third-highest-rated rookie.

Media: Were you tempted by Micah Parsons?

Increttleman: Pahsons is impressive. But what did I tell you people when I took this job? We would fix the offensive line, right?

Media: There were reports that the Bears were willing to offer you next year’s No. 1 if you would move down to 20. You’ve still never traded down in any of your nine drafts with Carolina and here.

Increttleman: People call you and they want the pick for a bag of donuts, a hot pretzel and a hot dog.

Media: You were linked to DeVonta Smith. Were you surprised that (Eagles GM) Howie Roseman did business with the Cowboys and leapfrogged you?

Increttleman: Howie is not afraid to trade with anybody. We’re thrilled to have Rashawn.

Round 2

Center Creed Humphrey, Oklahoma
PFF’s highest-graded rookie. Pro Bowl alternate.

Media: You traded down! (NFL Network’s) Daniel Jeremiah thought he’d see a tight turn in a NASCAR race before you’d ever trade down. Joe Judge is wondering whether you’ve been examined for a concussion.

Increttleman: A mauler to compete against Nick Gates. I’m learning to make right turns in NASCAH (smile).

Now back to reality.