Dear Amy: I have worked for the same company for more than 30 years, and I am ready to retire in a few months.
They have no idea that I am contemplating retirement.
What would be an acceptable length of notice to provide them?
Is it just like getting a new job and providing the standard two- or three-week notice, or should I provide them more notice since it is a retirement?
I should note that when others in the organization have hit the 25 and 30 year work anniversaries, there were parties, speeches, and gifts given.
I suspect these same employees also received certain benefits I have not been given.
However, when I hit my 25- and 30-year work anniversaries, there was nothing. No one in the organization acknowledged it. I said nothing, but it really hurt my feelings.
I have received perfect performance reviews for the last 10 years, so I know they are happy with my work.
Do I owe them more than a two-week notice?
— Ready to Go
Dear Ready to Go: My research on this topic indicates that when it comes to retirement, three to six months advance notice has been considered standard, although given your perception of the company’s attitude toward you, as well as your attitude toward the company, in my view three months seems generous.
As an employee for more than 30 years, presumably you possess a lot of institutional knowledge, and this might necessitate a wide and lengthy search for your replacement.
However, given the current state of workplace flux and downsizing, your position might not be renewed.
In terms of your well-deserved recognition, I’ll relay an anecdote from a close friend of mine who announced their retirement last week. Anticipating some awkwardness, and possibly some actual emotion from the employer upon hearing this retirement news, the employee’s announcement was met with: “Thank God. We were going to eliminate your position, anyway.” This very long-term employee wasn’t even granted an exit interview.
So much for getting that gold watch.
Regardless of the information I’ve conveyed, I think that you should do whatever you want to do. It’s not as if that last performance review is going to mean much, once you’ve ridden your red Corvette off into the sunset.
Just keep in mind that despite your overall negative feelings at this point, you might ultimately consider it a point of pride to follow through according to protocol, giving lengthy advance notice and continuing your stellar work ethic until the very end.
Dear Amy: My obnoxious adult nephew never liked me or my older sister (his other aunt).
His attitude toward us is probably because we tried to get his parents to discipline him when he was younger for being a bully, liar, a thief, and a spoiled brat.
Needless to say, his parents never did discipline him, and so, we never had a good relationship with him.
In my opinion, he grew into an even bigger and more spoiled adult brat.
Anyway, his mother (our sister) wants us to meet his fiancée, but my sister and I are reluctant because he didn’t ask us (his mom did), and because he is obnoxious and hard to be around.
What do you think we should do?
— The Aunt of a Brat
Dear Aunt: Many a brat/beast has been redeemed and reformed by choosing the right contrast in a spouse. It’s a “tale as old as time” — to quote the Disney version.
If I could offer you a little feedback, the tone of your query is — if not bratty, then certainly brat-adjacent.
My basic reaction is that if your sister asks you to meet a future family member, then it would be kindest for you and your other sister to accept this invitation.
However, I think you should only do so if you can restrain your negativity and adopt an attitude of openness and inclusion.
I’m not sure you’re up to the task.
Dear Amy: I’m surprised at how often your column makes me laugh.
These lines (responding to “JN, MD” regarding mask-wearing) inspired a genuine spit take: “In addition to the real and practical medical reasons for masking, it’s also a free country, folks! If Kim Kardashian can wear a nude bodysuit to the store (and more power to her, by the way), I can wear a mask on a plane.”
— Big Fan
Dear Fan: I’ll take your compliment — as long as the laughter was intentionally inspired. I’ll be here all week! (Don’t forget to tip your servers.)
(You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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