Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEW Collision, wrestling
The Chadster previews AEW Collision, exposing Tony Khan’s strategy to cheese off WWE fans with a gimmick-packed, predictable lineup.
Welcome, loyal readers of The Chadster, to yet another mind-boggling preview of AEW’s latest attempt to cheese off fans of true wrestling: AEW Collision. The Chadster is here to give you a rundown of the atrocities you can expect during this catastrophe of a wrestling show. AEW Collision is the meat in the torture sandwich Tony Khan has served up to The Chadster this weekend. Last night was AEW Rampage, and tomorrow is Forbidden Door. But today, we have to deal with AEW Collision.
Starting the night with a predictable, crowd-pleasing match, CMFTR and Ricky Starks are set to face BULLET CLUB GOLD (Jay White & Juice Robinson) & The Gunns (Austin & Colten). The Chadster is furious at how AEW panders to the audience and ignores the traditional structure of professional wrestling that WWE respects so dearly. It’s just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.
In a desperate attempt to create some excitement, AEW Collision continues with a quarter-final match in the Women’s Owen Hart Memorial Foundation Tournament, featuring Willow Nightingale vs. Nyla Rose. This match has The Chadster rolling his eyes, as yet again AEW resorts to gimmicky tournaments and contrived stipulations. These wrestlers don’t understand a single thing about the wrestling business.
The Chadster also can’t help but groan at the next scheduled encounter between Hiroshi Tanahashi and Swerve Strickland. While both athletes are undeniably talented, the entire context of the match has The Chadster seething. Hiroshi Tanahashi has an AEW World Championship fight the very next day against MJF, but AEW insists on making use of these NJPW wrestlers to bully WWE as much as possible this weekend. Auughh man! So unfair!
AEW continues to disappoint with yet another predictable match: Brody King vs. Andrade El Idolo. With Andrade and The House of Black having a fallout last week on AEW Collision, this match just shows how AEW relies on feuds instead of building long-term stories and character arcs. The Chadster is sure Tony Khan is doing this all to cheese him off on purpose.
Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster went out to breakfast at Denny’s this morning and ordered his favorite meal, a Moons Over My Hammy. But when the sandwich arrived, The Chadster noticed that someone had written “CM PUNK” in ketchup on top of the hash browns! It had to be the work of Tony Khan! The Chadster barged into the kitchen demanding answers, but Tony Khan had already slipped away. The Chadster searched the Denny’s and its parking lot, but Khan remained out of sight. One day, The Chadster will catch him and warn him to stay out of his favorite restaurant.
In conclusion, the lineup for AEW Collision is simply horrendous, and The Chadster urges fans to tune out instead of watching. However, if you are truly desperate to see this trainwreck of a wrestling show, tune in tonight at 8:00 pm ET/7:00 pm CT on TNT. But remember that you’ve been warned by The Chadster, the only true unbiased journalist in wrestling. ????????
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