Ask Amy: Co-worker’s remark goes very wrong

Dear Amy: “Carol” and I used to work very closely together. I still see her occasionally at work, and we usually enjoy a long catch-up.

When I recently saw Carol (from a distance) at the office, I noticed that she’d lost a significant amount of weight.

I had not seen her in months, so it seemed conceivable that she had been working to lose weight.

I was with a client, but I wanted to say something to Carol before she left the office. Carelessly, I called out across a few yards, “Hi, Carol! You are looking good!”

When she turned and looked at me with a wane smile/grimace, I knew I’d made a mistake. I wanted to immediately see what was wrong, but by the time I was done with my client, Carol had left.

Usually as a rule, I do not comment on weight loss unless the other person brings up their own weight/fitness first.

Later that same day, I ran into another old co-worker. She informed me that Carol had taken ill in the previous months with COVID-19 complications and had been in a coma. It’s a miracle that she is alive and walking around now.

I was shocked and ashamed over what I said and the way I said it.

Is there anything I can or should say to apologize?

Maybe it’s better to simply say I’d had no idea what she was going through, and express my very genuine relief that she is recovering?

Help me find the words!

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